Drowning
by Whitefeather
Summary: Three years after the second war ends, Bellatrix realizes that she can't leave the country where she lived her life the memories she holds drowned her long ago.


Drowning

Whitefeather

***

Notes- This idea started out as just a meeting between Bella, Lucius, Narcissa and Rodolphus.  And then it evolved.  Big time.  So I hope you can enjoy... even if it's not your ship in the end.     

Dedicated to Kirixchi, for being a doll and forcing the Bella fanfics.  Here's a little help on your quest-

  SiriusxMadamRosmerta forever!  

R&R

***

**_Drowning- The act of killing by submerging and suffocating..._**

***

****

                "Fancy seeing you here, Bellatrix."

                She turned, and her eyes widened a bit at the sight of her sister and her husband-in-law standing in front of her. Slowly, she moved her pristine lips. "And what are an ex-death eater and a former Dark Lord supporter doing wandering the streets of Diagon Alley?"

                Lucius put on his trademark smirk. "It's not illegal, Bellatrix. Everyone knows what we were. The war is over. People on both sides were killed." He paused, and flinched at his words. She knew why- it was Lucius and Narcissa's best held in pain. In the days preceding the climax of the war, the Dark Lord had been pulling up everyone he could to throw a last attack on Hogwarts. Draco had been one that he took with him that day. He was killed during that battle, struck down by an unknown person on Dumbledore's side. Thousands died that day, and they hadn't time even to mourn before the new news came. 

The next day, the Dark Lord was captured and the war was over. 

Narcissa glanced away, and Lucius cleared his throat. "A few of us are meeting for lunch. Would you be interested?" 

Bellatrix shrugged. "Will Rodolphus be there?" He nodded. "And he wouldn't go crazy seeing me?" He nodded again, this time with almost a sarcastic grin. "Then yes, let's go." 

All along the way people glared, stared, and cursed under their breath at the sight of the three of them. But no one said anything. They never did. After the war's end most turned themselves in, and Dumbledore had made an announcement to the world that there had been enough pain; enough death. They all walked free. Some left the country, most the continent to escape- some even made the ultimate sacrifice. For her knowledge, only around six or seven were still alive and in the country; and of these, none walked around proudly. 

When she entered the place, she wasn't surprised at the faces she saw. Snape, Rookwood, and her ex-husband all sat at a small table near the window, not talking much. Bellatrix smirked at the sight of the waiters all arguing in a corner about something, obviously who had the 'honor' of covering their table. 

Rodolphus saw her first, and jumped from the table. People all around shifted nervously as he did; one or two even stood suddenly themselves out of sheer terror of the people gracing their presence. 

"Bella..." his voice croaked, reminding her of when they had first been rescued from Azkaban. His eyes filled with the same longing. "Why didn't you come home?" 

She moved over to the waiters, with an eager Rodolphus by her side. They all stopped talking and stared, fear blatant. She sighed. "You know, although we had problems in the past, we still command a fair amount of money." Their faces cleared a bit, and one finally stepped forward; a young waitress in her twenties. 

                Walking back to the table, she realized that he wouldn't let her be until she answered his question. "What reason had I to return to Lestrange Manor, Rodolphus?" They took a seat, and the others nodded welcome. She poured herself a glass of water before glancing plainly to his face. 

                "Me."

                Bellatrix let out a rich laugh, along with Lucius this time. Rodolphus glanced, surprised, up to his best friend. "Lucius?" 

                "You cannot tell me that you actually believe that Bella loved you."

                He froze, and glanced to her. She almost spit her water out. "You are serious."

                He looked abashed. "You never..."

                Rookwood spoke up, his sharp voice cutting the thin atmosphere. "You are quite the fool, Rodolphus. I think anyone could see the truth before you."

                Bellatrix put her water down. "Let him be, boys." She looked to her ex-husband's eyes. "You really thought I loved you, when you knew I followed Voldemort so closely? You know his opinions on love."

                "Forget love, love is a nonentity. I just felt that you would come back to me out of familiarity." He lied quickly.  Bellatrix ignored this.  

                "And when, my dear ex-husband, have I ever followed conformity?" The table all laughed at this, even Rodolphus himself. "I wouldn't worry too much. You'll be able to find another young female who wants money and is willing to forget about our pasts for it in a while. In the meantime, I'm afraid to say you'll have to entertain yourself." 

                Snape spoke up for the first time. "Or go out to Hogsmeade." They all glanced up. Hogsmeade had been a place for all those hurt from the war- a refuge for the poor and the hopeless. Instead of its former prestige, it was now known for its hookers and cheer beer. 

                "Never thought you'd be wandering Hogsmeade, traitor," Rookwood laughed. "Didn't think Dumbledore would let one of his boys down there." Snape shrugged. 

                "Doesn't really care anymore. Turns a blind eye to me for the most part. Knows that I'm considered a traitor to both sides, and figures I can get the sympathy form wherever I want." Bellatrix snickered. 

                "Sympathy be damned, Severus. You just want to get laid." She took a sip of water. "All you men are alike. Think with only one brain. No wonder the war took so long- and no wonder it turned out the way it did. Look at the female percent on each."

                No one said a word.   

                "Exactly my point. And I also see you're not denying it, any of you." They all shook their heads, and Rookwood even raised his glass and uttered the toast 'hell yes'. "If we'd had more females then males..."

                Lucius looked up to her, and a grin spread his face. "Don't put down sex, Bellatrix. It's fairly useful. Take into account yourself- you wouldn't be anything but a housewife unless you'd slept with the Dark Lord." Everyone glanced up, and Bellatrix swore under her breath before smiling weakly. 

                "I really don't know how you of all people found out, Lucius. Care to explain?" Lucius stared at her intently, along with the other men and her sister looking shocked.

                "You just told me." She swore again. "However, we did have thoughts that you had. Everyone did. But no one dared say anything."

                "I'd hope not. He would have killed you." She sighed. "Since you all aren't going to stop until you find out, yes, I slept with him. He found me at your wedding, Cissa. Took me under his wing and taught me the Dark Arts to escape from conformity. Starting the day of your wedding, he taught me, and I had to pay him. He didn't need money or any material things. So I slept with him for payment. Found out later that it was because he wanted an heir; figured that when I was a mother I would forget about the Dark Arts. After a year and I wasn't pregnant, he tested me for infertility. I wasn't. He, however, was."

                "So it ended there, right?" Rodolphus snapped, obviously jealous. She smirked again. 

                "No. After that he knew he'd made a mistake, but I was getting good. And so he used me as a relief; someone to take out his fury on."

                Snape shook his head. "You can't tell us that. He had enough goddamned anger during the meetings; and if he was taking anything out on you, that man would have more anger than a hippogriff when it's sworn at."

                Slowly, Bellatrix took her arm out from under the cloth. People form the other tables looked the Dark Mark tactlessly, but those at her table saw what she was really showing them- curses that left no real physical damage but caused pain as great as an uttered word of _'crucio' _ever would. All they left was a single, tiny tick mark on the body of the victim; barely visible. But her arm housed what had to be thousands; just on one arm. "They're all over my body, and you don't notice them unless you're looking. He loved causing pain right before taking me. Or even during. But afterwards it was always the same- I'd lay there not able to breathe from the pain, and he would simply smirk. Simply walk away. And leave me behind."

                She leaned back, and the six of them took in the silence of the room that had been carelessly listening to her story. The story of Bella the Black-Lestrange; the ruthless killer, with no mercy.  And the best part was that she really didn't care anymore.  Let the world know that he had taken her.  

                Because all in all, even though she had been his, he had been hers for seconds.  Precious seconds of time when she controlled the most powerful man in the universe.  And those were all she needed.    

                "So why didn't you leave the country?" She asked gently to no one in particular, steering the conversation from her sex life.  

                Snape shrugged.  "I thought about it more times than not.  Still do.  I figure if I get an opportunity, I will.  Take each day as it comes."  Rookwood nodded.  

                "I feel the same.  Just stay out of familiarity.  Sometime there will be a gal who doesn't care about what happened once, and I'll follow her to Antarctica or some shit."

                "In your dreams, Rodolphus."  Lucius chided.  "No girl would ever go for any of us now.  That's why I'm glad I had mine before."  

                Rookwood looked down.  "Chrissy was the best wife in the world, Lucius.  It wasn't my choice to have her in the manor when the Order burned it."  

                Narcissa moved from her husband and touched Rookwood's hand.  "He didn't mean it like that, Augustus.  He just meant that..."  

                "That we need to get over our losses, Mrs. Malfoy."  He looked up to her.  "Isn't that the only reason you stay here?  Because it is all you have of your son?"  

                Lucius bit his lip, and Bellatrix looked down.  For the first time in her life, she wasn't about to exploit one of Lucius' weak times- and she knew that this was definitely a turning point.

                "Leave it."

                Rodolphus' lip curled.  "Then tell us, Bellatrix, if you hate me and hate the people and hate the memories, what makes you stay here?" 

                She raised the glass to her lips, and stopped.   

                "Nothing." 

                Narcissa matched her gaze.  "Then why are you still here?  Voldemort is locked up on the highest security prison; awaiting the day that Harry Potter will awaken from his curse and finish him.  There is no escape for him..."

                "Even if there was, I wouldn't go back."  She interrupted softly.  

                Rookwood laughed.  "The Queen of Darkness, Bellatrix Angela Black-Lestrange, wouldn't go to her master's side if he was to overcome Potter in some god-forsaken time and space?" 

                "I see no reason to.  I have formed my new life.  I no longer need him."  

                Rookwood sighed.  "You are a different woman, Bellatrix."   

                Bellatrix ran a finger through her hair, and pulled an envelope from her pocket before throwing it onto the table.  "You need this more than I, Severus."

                He picked it up slowly, and opened it before packing it back up wordlessly.  Unlike the others, he understood. "I have to remember to thank you someday, Bellatrix."  The others all looked curiously to her.  Snape stood, and walked out the door.    

                Narcissa queried her, and Bellatrix simply smiled.  "I realized that he needed to escape here more than I."

                "Escape to where?"  She didn't answer.  But inside, he already knew.  "Or is it not that he needed to escape more than you found you have a reason to stay?"  Again, she didn't answer, but a tiny smile crossed her lips.  

                The waitress came over, and asked if there was anything she could get.  Unlike the others, however, Bellatrix noticed the subtle change in 'Rochelle's demeanor.  She grinned.  "I'll take the check in front." 

                Rodolphus leaned back.  "So this is it then.  This is goodbye."  

                "Must you be so overly dramatic, Rodolphus?"  

                "You're leaving.  For good.  I can tell."  

                She looked at him one last time.  "It would do you good to follow Severus' lead, Lucius.  This place holds nothing for us anymore."  

                Narcissa once again looked curiously to her, and she spoke in tones they hadn't heard since the war.       

"War is written by the winners.  Someday in the future, people will look back at us as inhuman.  And we deserve it.  But what they won't realize is that both sides loose.  Both sides were parents, and both sides were brothers.  They won't realize that here for a long time.  And in that time, we will slowly die, choking on the memories that drown us.  Leave here, Lucius, Narcissa.  Or his memories will drown you both."  

"And how deep in the water are you now, Angel?"  Lucius asked gently, using his old nickname for her, finally understanding what Severus had before he left.  

                She never answered.  Simply walked to the counter, and to 'Rochelle'.  "Here's the money, plus the extra I promised you."  She pulled out an extra bag of galleons, and the waitress' eyes widened.  She walked briskly to the door, before turning and tossing a matchbook to her.  "If you are willing to forget, his number's in there."  Another pause.  "Take him to Antarctica.  There should be enough in there.  If not, have him take it from my vault as an early gift."    

                Bellatrix didn't look back to see the waitress smile softly and match eyes with the ex-Death Eater sitting in the second table to the left.  

***

                They allowed her through without question, much to her shock.  Typically she had to beg them; their sadistic minds only accepting her to see him when they had a humiliated, begging Queen of Death at their feet.

                His cell hadn't changed in the three years since he had been put there, and nor, did it seem, had his guards.  They all knew her.  To them, she was the familiarity.  Not their own lives.  

                He looked up as she raced her hand down the bar, and a smile lit his face- one not of the possession it once held.  He reached a hand through the bar and took hers.      

"Bella...  I thought you were going overseas..."

She smiled.  

"I've drowned."


End file.
